My mother passed away on December 10, 2009. I needed a way to help myself work through the grieving process. I knew that just writing an occasional entry in a paper journal wouldn't help me deal w/ the myriad of emotions. I've pledged to write in this blog every day for a year to chronicle what I hope will lead from the pain of mourning to the glory of remembrance.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Tuesday, 05 October 2010 -- Day 289 (302)
They say horses only go down when they're sick, well this workhorse was down for the day. I rarely take off from work.....mostly b/c it gets us behind on the material we need to cover, but I just couldn't imagine sitting through 24 speeches today w/ a pounding head. Being sick, no matter how old we get, makes us long for our mom's, and for just an instant today, I thought how Mom would be able to empathize w/ my cold and achiness. Then I remembered that I can't tell her how I feel. So it was encouraging tonight when I talked to Dad to hear him say, "You take care of yourself" just like Mom would've. I've noticed the last few times I've talked w/ him that he chokes up when we say "good-bye." Mom used to do that the last year of her life. Dad said she would be so sad after talking to us kids on the phone, and I can only guess the reason. There were times when I thought about not calling her b/c it would just leave her sad in the end. But I knew that not hearing from me would've made her even more sad. I guess even though she wasn't afraid to die, she was afraid of all that she'd miss in our lives.
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