Friday, 01 October 2010 -- Day 285 (298)

I watched The Green Mile tonight.  As usual, I thought of Mom and others who have suffered.  John Coffey, played by Michael Clarke Duncan, is on death row for murders that he didn't commit.  Paul Edgecomb, played by Tom Hanks, discovers that John is innocent and offers to let him go, but John says he's tired.....of being alone, of feeling all the pain and suffering in the world.  He's ready to die.  That's the point that I thought about Mom and Grandma Ruth and even about Linda, a woman I worked w/ who died of pancreatic cancer almost three years ago.  She lingered for many, many days, and each time she would awake from a nap, her daughter said she looked disappointed that she was still here.  Grandma Ruth had that same look three weeks ago when Doug and I visited her in the hospital.  We woke her, and she looked so sad to realize that she was still w/ us.  Mom had that look when I arrived  in her hospital room to find her intubated.  I think it's a blessing to be ready to die, and I think once we've reached that acceptance we should be allowed to go on our terms, not linger in pain for days and weeks.  We give animals an honorable death.  Mom wouldn't have taken that option, even if she'd been given the choice.  She always believed that God has complete control over life and death.