I dreamt about Mom last night. What I mostly remember is the feeling that I had a second chance to be a better listener, a more supportive daughter, her friend. I know it was a dream b/c at one point I was selected as the Homecoming queen, yet I knew that this couldn't be possible b/c I was never nominated to the court. Guess I was a write-in candidate.
Grandma Ruth's funeral was today. Maddy played her flute; she and Kenzie sang Jesus Loves Me while I played the piano. Grandma had asked us to do this a couple of years ago and then again at her last birthday party. Despite the girls and me having bad colds, we did it. Not our best performance, but we did it for Grandma. This was the first funeral I've been to since Mom's. I've been to visitations but no funerals. I held up pretty well; I think being in a fog from my cold actually helped w/ that. There was one point when one of Doug's cousins was talking about the legacy that Grandma left behind that reminded me of all the people that Mom influenced. That got me. This morning I said a prayer to God and to Mom to help me make it through this day both physically and emotionally. They answered it. I survived.
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