Thursday, October 21, 2010

Thursday, 21 October 2010 -- Day 305 (318)

Making CoCo Wheats this morning for breakfast reminded me of Mom's CoCo Wheats when I was growing up.  She always made us hot breakfasts once school started each fall, a tradition that I've always continued w/ my girls.  I've mentioned before that Mom was an amazing cook, but her CoCo Wheats were terrible.  They were so lumpy and dry that I had to add milk until all flavor was lost.  The thought of those lumpy CoCo Wheats made me smile while stirring them on the stove this morning.  Not b/c of the sweet memory but b/c this was something that I was better at than Mom.  Is it normal for a daughter to feel in competition w/ her mother?  Even w/ her memory? 

I've always compared my cooking, housekeeping, mothering, community service, and work ethic to Mom's.  And when I felt that she was edging ahead in the mothering or homemaking departments, I would rationalize that she wasn't a full-time employee outside the home while being a full-time mom.  She only ever worked part-time jobs and that wasn't until I was in elementary school.  I've been working full-time jobs since I was 20 and been a full-time mom on top of that since I was 29.  What am I saying?  It was never a competition for her.  She always conceded that she never had to contend w/ two, full-time jobs, but I never wanted her concession.  And I sure as hell don't like winning by default b/c she's dropped out of the competition. 

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