I'm beginning to get a better grasp on the dynamics of Mom and Dad's relationship. Whenever Dad would get in his grumpy, gripey mode, Mom was the voice of reason. He would never admit that she made sense or had good points, but he always listened, and by the time he was done complaining, he saw things differently. I know he did this b/c it's a trait that I inherited and unfortunately passed on to my daughters. Now w/o Mom, Dad has no one at whom to vent so Ron and I take the brunt of it. I always knew Mom was a saint for putting up w/ Dad's moods, but I really, really appreciate her patience. I just want to scream at him, "It's just a penny more," and "It's not the cashier's problem if the juice was put on the wrong shelf." Instead I just mumble some unintelligible utterances. I've always been the peace-maker in the family so I'm unaccustomed to talking back to him or anyone in my family. My concern, however, is that if Dad goes unchecked w/ this complaining, he'll alienate himself.
I know he's overcompensating for not having an adequate education. He was forced to quit school in 6th grade and has always felt dumb. I know it's frustrating for him to rely on others to write out his checks and pay his bills and balance his checkbook and fill out his medical forms. These were all things that Mom used to do. He thinks it's too late for him to learn all these things so he takes these frustrations out on innocent individuals. His frustrations then put me in a pissy mood that I take out on my loved ones. How did Mom always stay so positive and upbeat?
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