Tuesday, 09 February 2010

I'm dedicating this post to Renee, Bob, and Joe who suffered the loss of a husband/father in November, 2009 and a daughter/sister on February 4th, 2010.

I wish I had words to comfort you, but there aren't enough words or the right words to help at this time. Not having the right words has never stopped me from talking before so I can only hope that these words will help rather than hurt. And if silence is what you prefer then I guess you need never visit my blog again.

I cannot fathom the depth of your despair. What I do know is that you have many people who care about you and will support you in any way you need. All you have to do is ask. I know. It's the asking part that's difficult. We don't want to impose on others, and much of the time we just want to be alone w/ our grief. But in the days ahead when the quiet returns, I hope you'll ask. And if it's alright w/ you, in the days ahead when the quiet returns, I'll ask if you want to go to a movie or a concert.

But in as much as others can comfort and support, ultimately we must travel this grieving path toward healing on our own. And we must keep going, some days forward, other days backward. And when those days come when all we want to do is stay still b/c our limbs and our hearts are too heavy, we must keep going. If "a rolling stone gathers no moss" then "a person on the move eases the loss."

It’s not fair that you should have to lose Debbie when the loss of Tom is so very near. You’re right, Renee, this definitely sucks, and a few other expletives come to mind as well. I think I've said this before somewhere here in an earlier posting, but I think it's okay to ask God, "Why?". Asking this question doesn't mean we have doubts, it means we're seeking clarification. Any time we're trying to find the answers we take a step closer to God. And a step closer to God makes us one step closer to Tom, Debbie, and my mom. Maybe I can even help to answer that question right now. Tonight after we left the visitation, Kenzie got a phone call from a classmate w/ whom she had been close, but they had drifted apart during the last year. She called to tell Kenzie that she wanted things to be okay b/w them. Debbie did that. Her death breathed new life into a withered friendship.

I will ask God every night to please give you the strength to bear this burden. And the nights will be the most difficult, as well you already know. That's probably why I end up writing in this blog in the evenings. It's the time of day when the quiet returns and the pain is most raw. But even the night doesn't last forever.