When I was pregnant w/ my first daughter, I read the book, What to Expect When You're Expecting. It was very helpful for showing an expectant mother what each day, week, and trimester would bring physically and emotionally. I know there are numerous books about what to expect when becoming a mother. Why doesn't someone write a book about what to expect when you lose a mother? There's a plethora of writings on death and dying and grieving. I found an interesting article,http://ezinearticles.com/?Six-Steps-to-Take-When-Youre-Grieving-and-Cry-in-Public&id=1100360, that provides six ways to deal w/ public grief. It claims to be "Six Steps" as if by following one after the other will enable the griever to get from grief to happiness, but it's not a process of following step one then two then three. I want to know what to expect on day two, and day twenty-two, and day two-hundred and twenty-two. At least this article reassured me that my "grief spasm," as it called it, during my in-service meeting last Friday was normal.
The Denver Hospice Organization at http://www.thedenverhospice.org/ourservices/griefservices/Pages/WhattoExpectWhenGrieving.aspx, provides comprehensive lists of What to Expect When Grieving. It covers the physical, emotional, spiritual, and many more aspects that a person will encounter when grieving. But it still doesn't say, "On Day One you will feel like......." "On day 70 you will feel like...." "In your third trimester of grief, expect that...." Maybe grieving would be easier if we had manual to follow.
If doctors can know exactly what a woman goes through during gestation, why can't they tell me what I'm going through during devastation. Both involve physical and emotional changes. Isn't one just as equally predictable or unpredictable as the other?
I never received a handbook on how to be a mother; I continue to create one as I go along. I guess the same is true now that I'm motherless, and I guess that's what I'm attempting to do w/ this blog. Create as I go.
No comments:
Post a Comment