My brother got married tonight. It was a lovely ceremony in their living room in front of the fireplace w/ it and candles burning and white roses on the mantel. He and Dan both wore white boutonnieres that Phil made for the occasion. The judge wore her black robes and talked gently and sincerely about the joy of two lives joining. Afterward, we all drank champagne and discussed how happy we all are that Iowa passed same-sex marriage and what will happen if the other justices who voted for it are ousted like the three during the recent November 2nd voting. The judge's husband, who was also present for the ceremony, is a divorce attorney.....strange combination.....she marries people, and he helps them get divorced. Anyway, he informed us that now that Ron and Dan are legally married, they will remain so regardless of what happens w/ the law. How frustrating it must be to have others dictate who you can marry. Thank God we live in changing times where marriage is based on love and commitment, not gender.
Driving from my house to Ron and Dan's today was the first time I've driven that route since Mom died. She died in Allen Memorial Hospital just a few miles from their house. Driving conditions were oddly similar. I was driving like a bat-out-of-hell that time too and was oblivious to my surroundings.....I know, not a good combination when driving. At least I wasn't crying the whole way this time, but it was raining outside so that condition was pretty much a wash.
When Ron told Dad about his wedding and that I would be driving down for it, Dad's only remark was, "Well, don't expect me to be there." Unfortunately, even if Mom were alive right now, she would've had a similar comment. When my sister Lori and her now-spouse, Heather, had their commitment ceremony nine years ago, Mom and Dad refused to go. I know that friends and family will always disappoint us just as we'll always disappoint friends and family, but I was really hoping Dad would at least say, "Congratulations." I can't be mad at him, however, for having different beliefs. Doing so would make me a hypocrite. If I want others to tolerate my beliefs then I must tolerate theirs as well. Tolerance does not equate agreement.
For me, I completely agree and tolerate the marriage of my brother Ron to his friend, partner, and lover Daniel.
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