We don't any of us go through the mourning process alone. That's important to remember. We help each other mourn. Ultimately, yes, it's our gig, but I couldn't do this w/o friends and family. And I hope that I'm helping them go through this as well. Sometimes, however, I get so engrossed in my own grief that I forget that I have to help my daughters through this process too. I tried again today by telling them something that Mom always used to say to me. Before I tell this story, keep in mind that Mom never considered the word, shit, to be profanity.....to her it was a bodily function. So today after someone left one of the bathrooms especially stinky, I was reminded of a time when I made a crass remark to my brother David after he left the basement bathroom in a similar manner. She said to me, "Are you so sweet that your shit doesn't stink?" So I said this to my daughters this afternoon, and then I asked, "Does that sound like something Grandma would've said." We all laughed and agreed that it did.
As trivial as this sounds, the moment was monumental. Neither Kenzie or Maddy has wanted to talk much about Grandma Miller so I think if I just give them little tidbits of her periodically, they can come to terms w/ their loss in their own time. Baby steps. You can't walk until you're ready, and no one starts out running. I'll teach my girls to take baby steps so in time they'll be running.
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