I don't seem to look forward to events like I used to. Usually at this time of year I'd be looking forward to football and volleyball games, cooler weather, and changing my seasonal decorations. Mom always had decorations for all the seasons and holidays, or did I start the decorating trend. It's funny how our lives can so intricately meld w/ another's that we're not sure where one starts and the other ends.
It's usually the dog days of summer that get me thinking about the cooler, less humid days of autumn. I'm not sure what exactly is causing my lac-a-daisical (sp?) attitude. Maybe it's b/c of Mom's death, or maybe b/c it's Mackenzie's senior year of high school, and I know she's about to have her last, first day of public school in a couple of weeks. But even as she has her last volleyball season and her last year of show choir, she's about to have a lot of first's as well. Education is a microcosm of life. We begin, and we end so we can begin something new. It might even be that I've finally stopped living so much for the future and started living for the now. It feels good to live more in the present, but there are times that I get caught off-guard or unprepared. I find myself preparing less for encounters and relying more on my ability to adapt and wing-it. I used to plan out potential conversations. I don't do that as much anymore. I think this is a good thing. I'll keep you posted.
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