Sunday, 08 August 2010 -- Day 231 (244)

Maddy comes home early tomorrow morning, probably around 3:00 a.m. I'm going to sleep on the couch so I can hear her when she gets in. I have to be close to welcome her home. "I'm so happy when we're all in the same time zone." This is one of Meryl Streep's lines from the movie, It's Complicated. I'm glad to be returning to a more normal, stay-at-home lifestyle. It's nice to finally start feeling like my life is normal, although very little in the last 244 days has been like it's always been. I'm always telling my students to step out of their comfort zones, but I'm learning that sometimes all that means is that you're uncomfortable. This is another concept from the aforementioned movie. (Can you tell I just watched it tonight?) I've been forced out of my comfort zone and into a motherless lifestyle. I'm still not comfortable w/ it, but in relinquishing some of the control over these feelings, I'm getting better at being more open w/ others who want to be a part of my life. My life has been complicated these last eight months. Some days I take a step forward toward healing, and the next day it's three steps backward. I guess that's normal.