People, including ourselves, will let us down and not live up to our expectations. But if we expect these people, including ourselves, to let us down, they will, every time. Kenzie is experiencing this right now w/ her boyfriend, or rather ex-boyfriend. I've been experiencing it a little w/ Mom. I don't know that I'm actually angry w/ her, but I've found that I don't want to look at her pictures as much. I have one of my favorite pictures of her on the file cabinet in my office, and each morning when I turn on the light above it, I usually say, "Good morning, Mom." This last week, however, I haven't wanted to look at that picture. Maybe it's b/c the pictures make me sad, and I'm tired of being sad, so I'm taking it out on Mom for making me sad. Is that completely warped?
Sometimes our bodies let us down too. Kenzie's experiencing this right now as well w/ her Crohn's Disease. The newest medicine (Humira) that she's been on for the last eight weeks hasn't been working. As a result, she has to have a colonoscopy tomorrow to determine what else is going on. This will be her seventh one in six years. She amazes me w/ her attitude. Yes, there are times when she gets a little depressed and frustrated, but she always understands what has to be done and stays strong. She reminds me a lot of Mom in this regard. Mom never bemoaned her cancers or asked why all this had to happen to her. Instead she faced her illnesses w/ positive determination. God knows her body let her down and her treatments didn't always live up to her expectations, but she kept an upbeat attitude. Most people commented after she passed that they didn't realize just how sick she was b/c she was always so positive.
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