Dad and Ron made it here safe and sound. It's getting a little easier to be together and accept that Mom isn't w/ us. We're rediscovering each other. Dad is actually less grumpy, which sounds terrible, but I think he realizes that he needs to be more affable now so people will want to visit and talk to him. It's sad, in a way, that he wasn't more agreeable when Mom was alive, but I think he felt he would always have her even if others turned against him. Unfortunately those closest to us don't always get to see our best side, yet they love us no matter what.
Maddy's dance recital dress rehearsal was tonight, and for the first time (yes, another first), Mom wasn't here to help get her dressed and ready. Not the Maddy needs it since she'll be 14 tomorrow, but Mom was always here to fix costumes and do hair and just be a comforting presence since this was always a harrowing time. I remember Maddy's first recital when she was four. She hated her costume b/c the sequins scratched her tummy. Mom sewed in felt to make it softer, but Maddy still cried and screamed about that stupid costume. I didn't keep that costume, even though it was her first, b/c it held too many bad memories. I guess I'm older and wiser now. I've finally learned that everything doesn't have to be perfect. But Mom always made everything look so easy, and I felt like I needed to be just like her. Now I'm okay w/ ordering chicken from Godfather's for dinner rather than preparing a home-cooked meal. I'm okay w/ relinquishing more control over Maddy's appearance in her make-up and costume rather than applying it myself. I'm okay.
Yes, you're ok. Wish Maddy a happy birthday for me. It sounds as if my family is going to sweep in today and put my yard and probably household to right. It's ok. We work well as a team. :)
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