Monday, September 20, 2010

Sunday, 19 September 2010 -- Day 273 (286)

I went to Jen Howard's visitation tonight.  She died of cancner.  She was only 40 years old.  We played tennis together a few times, and we worked at the same college but on different campuses.  I would call her an acquaintance.  There were a lot of people who called Jen a friend or acquaintance.  How wonderful to have that kind of impact on so many people that they would take time out to pay their respects.  I think part of the reason I want to be cremated and have a private service is b/c I'm afraid very few people would show up.  Anyway, back to the funeral home.  I found out while standing in line waiting to shake hands w/ the family that I know Jen's sister, Laura, and I work w/ Laura's husband Dave on this campus.  Their daughter Ali is the same age as Maddy.  I saw Ali sitting in the front row of chairs, a look of complete sadness and confusion.  It was a face that simply asked, "Why?"  Why did the person who taught me how to ride a horse leave me?  Why does she no longer look like my Aunt Jen?  Why are all these people that I don't know here?

I made it through the receiving line.........is it acceptable to use that term in this situation?  We use it for wedding parties.  Can we use it for funeral parties?  Anyway, I made it through the receiving line until I got to Laura and Dave, and then I started to crack.  I couldn't even talk by the time I got to Jen's two youngest sisters.  I'm sure they were thinking, "Why is this stranger crying?"  It was the scene, the entire sad scene w/ flowers and the casket and mourners that brought everything w/ Mom's funeral and visitation right back to the forefront, and I broke.  I felt like an idiot.

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