Remember a week ago when I wrote about my fantastic day where I let myself be truly happy. Yea, well that lasted less than 24 hours. I had to reread that post to remember my euphoria b/c that pleasure is rather elusive right now. Things are pretty much back to normal w/ Kenzie, but Maddy is on crutches after messing up her knee last night at volleyball practice. She has an MRI on Wednesday to see if there's a tear in any of the ligaments. Dad had his scope procedure today; there's no sign of any cancer in his bladder, etc. I could tell he was greatly relieved that the scope was over and the results favorable. I know he didn't sleep well last night worrying. Thank God Ron is willing and able to accompany him to all these appointments and procedures.
Hospice has been brought in for Grandma Ruth. Apparently they can administer some drugs that the nursing home cannot. I really don't know all the services Hospice provides. I haven't wanted to know b/c admitting Hospice means admitting defeat. And defeat means weakness. I understand that their purpose is to bring comfort and ease the pain for both the dying and the living, which is why I still have pangs of guilt that I didn't respond to Mom's comment when she mentioned Hospice. I can be so selfish and pig-headed sometimes. Grandma's breathing has become labored, but her heart must be strong. I can't help but think how quickly Mom went once the breathing tube was removed, and she was almost 20 years younger. But Mom was already in a much weaker state physically. I think Mom knew when she went into the hospital that she'd never return home, and that decision right there shows great strength and resolve.
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