Tuesday, 18 May 2010 -- Day 149 (162)

Well, it turns out the Internet problem was from our end the last few days. Mediacom was experiencing problems for about three days, but then we discovered that our router got switched off. I hate it when that happens. And I hate the realization that being w/o, or at least thinking I'm w/o, the Internet can paralyze my activities. I guess I haven't been paralyzed; I just had to find an alternative means for keeping this journal. I don't think we should ever become too dependent on one thing or person. Kinda like the old saying, "Never put all your eggs in one basket." Diversification, that's the key. I think that's why I was always so afraid that Mom would die when I was younger b/c she was everything to me. As I got older, I became interdependent w/ a lot of other family and friends, which has shown me that even though at one time I thought I would die if Mom died, I've discovered that my life will go on. I've even been able to talk about Mom's death w/ my students in this fast track class that I'm teaching now w/o any catch in my throat. I still wonder if it's too soon to enter the acceptance stage of the grieving process. Maybe my cold has dulled all my senses so that I couldn't cry even if I wanted too.