I was still feeling a little "punk" this morning, but after a couple of hours burying myself in work, I emerged feeling a little less tight in the tummy.
In talking w/ Dad tonight, he informed me about the death of a longtime friend of my brother Ron's, so when I finished talking to Dad I called my brother. Tip, whose real name is Leonard (a fact I just learned tonight after knowing him for 25 years), passed away last night from natural causes that were apparently exacerbated by cancer. I know Mom's doctor told her last year that it wouldn't be the cancer that would kill her but some infection, and I guess that's what happened to Tip as well. Ron and I talked about how both Mom and Tip were both ready to go b/c neither wanted to become a burden. I know Dad and Tip's partner, Larry, would both agree that they'd rather have them back than even think about any burdens. A truly selfless love is caring more about the well-being of another than about yourself.
I wonder, does it ever come back? That part of you that dies with your loved one? Does the feeling ever return to that part of your heart that's dissolved? When my second daughter was born my love doubled rather than divided. How does it work when someone dies? Is the love subtracted without the addition of that loved one? I don't want anyone to take Mom's place in my heart. Just b/c she's gone doesn't mean I've got extra love that needs to find a home.
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