Sitting w/ Dad in church today, I noticed him give a silent head nod to a gentleman sitting behind us. That man lost his wife a few month's before Mom passed away. The look that passed b/w the two of them was of complete understanding of the abject pain they were each feeling. Then I looked over to our right, and I saw a man who lost his wife last year too. Three men forming a widower's triangle, all widowed in the same year. All three looked pale, thin, and haggard.
I continued to peruse the congregation and noticed the widows of the church. I wouldn't say they were vibrant, but they looked much more at peace w/ their situations. Perhaps b/c they had been widowed longer and had accepted their fates, or maybe it's true what I've heard so many women say. "Women can handle be widowed easier than a man." I still don't know exactly what that means, but maybe women are naturally more accustomed to accept what life gives us. History certainly proves that women haven't always been given a voice to vote or own property or work outside the home. We've had to accept b/c we had no other choice. Looks like in this instance, playing the hand we're dealt makes coping w/ loss a little easier. I hope the three men get to that point of peace and acceptance too.
I hope those three widowers somehow find the strength to come together and support each other. I think that's a major difference between men and women. Women seek each other out. Men tend to do that stupid, "lone wolf" thing.
ReplyDeleteI know you've said your dad doesn't like to go out much, but I'd really encourage him to join some men's group of some sort...something, anything.