My checkup at Mayo went well. The enlarged lymph node is still in my abdomen, but it's the same size as last year so they're okay w/ it. So, I'll go back again next year. Just something I'll have to do for the rest of my life. I can live w/ that.
I was very emotional today, probably b/c I was so uncertain of what my tests would show. I've been feeling fine, but I was feeling fine six years ago when they found the tumor on my kidney. And if it hadn't been for the double vision from the brain aneurysm, they never would've found the cancer on my kidney. Being in a hyper-emotional state today meant every older couple I saw made me think of Mom and Dad. There was one woman who sat near me in one of the waiting rooms who had silver hair just like Mom, was dressed nicely like Mom always was when in public, and was working on a word-find puzzle just like Mom used to do. She and her husband were so sweet as they fussed over each other's comfort. I couldn't even tell which one of them was the patient b/c they were so in-sync w/ each other and neither revealed more fear or concern than the other.
Watching people at Mayo isn't something I do a lot b/c it's obvious that the people there are all dealing w/ health issues, but I notice small things. Like the woman wearing a scarf on her bald head meaning she's obviously still in the midst of her chemo treatments, but she just kept smiling as she chatted w/ the nurses. She reminded me a lot of Mom too w/ her positive outlook, and of Mackenzie b/c she was sitting w/ a heating pad on her arm just like Kenzie had to have just before receiving her infusion of Remicade to treat her Crohn's Disease. There was a young Jewish man who sat across from me looking scared and worried for his young wife, who was so thin and also wore a head scarf even though some of her hair could be seen underneath it. From where he sat in the waiting area, he could see his wife in the room where IV's are started for people who are about to have chemo or, like me, about to have a CT scan that requires a contrast dye being injected into my body. I wanted to tell this young man that his wife would be okay and that God answers all prayers, but his eyes remained locked on his wife as he tried desperately to mouth something to her. I didn't want to intrude. I hope they get the chance to become the older couple who have faced decades of difficulties together, knowing they have each other.
I know Mom developed a rapport w/ the nurses at the cancer center where she received her chemo and radiation treatments. They all signed a certificate for her when she completed her last treatments. Dad still keeps it on the bulletin board near the bathroom.
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