My aunt Adelyn passed away yesterday. It was less than eight months ago that Uncle Ervin, her husband and my dad's older brother died. Apparently I've reached the point in my life when relatives begin passing on at a faster rate, but I think losing two uncles, a mother, and an aunt in 20 months is a bit excessive. Allegedly God never gives us more than we can handle. Well, I don't think I'm handling all this very well, and I'd like to ask for a reprieve. I'm suffering from a serious lack of motivation. I would be content to just sit around and read or watch movies. If it wasn't for having my own family, I'd probably never get out of bed. I'm not sleeping well. I have no appetite. These are all classic symptoms of depression. Mom believed that a person should have the strength and will power to pull herself out of the "dull-drums" as she sometimes called them. If I know I'm depressed, I should be able to shake myself out of it, right? I know Dad is mildly depressed as well, and if it wasn't for my two aunts, his card couple, calls from Ron and me, and "Susie," he probably wouldn't be as connected w/ the human race. When I talked w/ him today about Adelyn's passing he said that it would be a burden off her son Neulyn's shoulders. My response was that Neulyn would still feel her loss. I think in a way this reassured Dad that I'll miss him when he's gone.
During the summer when I was growing up, I'd spend several nights on Ervin and Adelyn's farm when their oldest granddaughter, Becky, came to stay w/ them. Becky is a year younger than I so we had wonderful times playing Charlie's Angels. Uncle Ervin let us use his riding lawn mower so we could pretend to have chase-scenes. The hay mount was always the bad guy's hideout. The window up there that overlooked the pig pen had to be carefully navigated to avoid falling in, which made it all the more thrilling and exciting. Adelyn was a teacher during the one-room school house days, and I always imagined that since their garage was a converted school house that it was the same one that Adelyn taught in. She had a soft-spoken voice even when sharing local "news." I remember visiting there w/ my parents while Dad helped his brother w/ something farm related. Mom and I would stay in the house and visit w/ Adelyn. She always told very detailed stories, w/ explanations as to whom she was talking about and how they were all related. As a youngster, I found these stories fascinating. It was at their house that I remember lying on their living room floor listening to President Nixon offer his resignation speech. It was their front lawn that had the biggest Weeping Willow tree w/ the stereotypical swing in it. When it came time for me to choose a personal attendant for my first wedding, I chose Aunt Adelyn b/c she was a special part of my youth. She took this position as personal attendant very seriously even checking out books and magazines as to what was expected of her in that role. As her role as aunt, she threw me a bridal shower, and as her role as personal attendant she gave me my first negligee.
As I got older, and she got older, I found less tolerance for the gossip and as a result, visited her less even though she and Uncle Ervin moved a block away from Mom and Dad's. Maybe I never forgave her for getting old and getting sick and giving in. I'm sorry, Aunt Adelyn, for the times that I was home visiting Mom and Dad when I didn't go to visit you. Mom's waiting for you to hear some more stories.
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