(Note: Once again I'm writing this a day late. The 4th was filled w/ day- and night-long fun, ending at around midnight when we returned home from the fireworks.)
During the last decade the 4th of July had become a day of family reunion and fun at the lake. Doug's cousin had a lake house where his side of the family would gather for food, games, and water sports. That cousin divorced so last year I decided we'd start our own tradition. The temperature was quite cool last year but comfortable for picnicking, which we did at Pikes Point Park on West Lake Okoboji. Mom was huddled under layers of clothes, coats, and blankets. She looked so small and frail, but she mustered the strength for a boat ride. I thought about that yesterday as I sat in the same seat of our boat cruising around the lake. I thought about it and it made me sad, but then I looked around and saw my husband and daughters w/ me and realized that I could still have family fun at the lake so Maddy and I danced on the stern. I told Doug that I didn't want to go to Pikes Point this year. Not only did we not picnic there, he didn't even drive the boat past the grounds. And we didn't even picnic but instead ate at a restaurant by the lake.
We live our lives for big events: births, baptisms, confirmations, graduations, weddings, and holidays. These events are made bigger and more special b/c we share them w/ family, and we consider the day-to-day events to be small and inconsequential. Last night while in the boat watching the fireworks, a tradition we've maintained these last seven years, people around us were cheering for the big, colorful, loud explosions of light. Doug started cheering for the smaller explosions b/c as he said, "No one ever cheers for them."
I missed Mom today on this 4th of July holiday, this big event, but I miss her even more on the small, day-to-day events. I want to call her on the phone and talk w/ her about these events, and right now that's what I miss the most, just talking w/ her on the phone. But if I didn't miss her, it would mean she wasn't important to me. I guess that's a good gauge of how important people are to us by thinking how much we would miss them if they were no longer in our lives. I guess the same would be true for celebrating the 4th of July. We gauge the importance of our freedom by thinking how life would be w/o it.
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